Wild Things
by Expressive Dissonance
Summary: A collection of drabbles in xiaa's petverse. Rated M for mature language and situations. Yaoi.
1. Master Angel

Quiet: So, in my drabble request threads on Wallmarket and the Crisis Core Yaoi forums, I've gotten a few requests to write in Xiaa's petverse. If you don't know about the Bathtime or Pet Trainer Genesis comics, you should take a look here: http://yaoi (dot) y-gallery (dot) net/gallery/xiaa/bathtime/?offset=11.

They are awesome, no doubt about. *adores them all* Fangirling aside, if you want greater details on how that world works and the full extent of the relationships in it, then check out xiaa's gallery (she has a dA as well). If you have a look, it'll lesson your confusion over my drabbles, because a few are AU of an AU, which is weird, but true. This drabble in particular is **petverse canon**, and was requested by xiaa herself; it takes place in the Pet Trainer Genesis part of the series. =3

As always, much love to my beta, Lizardbits! =D

Angealxpuppy!Zack  
_Angeal teaching Zack to talk normally after throwing Genesis out._

* * *

"That _idiot_!" Angeal fumed, after booting his friend out of his apartment.

His furious demeanor had Zack flattening his ears and looking as if he'd just been kicked; his puppy gave a low whine before lowering himself submissively in front of him. "Zack was bad?"

Feeling like the worst kind of heel, Angeal smoothed his scowl and tried his best to smile, which prompted a tentative round of tail thumping from his puppy.

"C'mere, pup," he sighed, grunting when his arms were immediately filled with squirming puppy.

"Master!" Zack said happily, apparently taking to his newfound trick of speaking. "Is Zack a good boy?"

"Zack is a good boy," Angeal confirmed, vigorously ruffling the spiky black hair of his pet.

Zack leaned back, blue eyes happy as he eagerly leaned forward and began pressing his lips against Angeal's, his hands pawing at the SOLDIER's uniform. "Are we going to fuck? Zack likes Master's big cock!"

Gaping, Angeal felt himself flush again at the words, mind growing hazy at the innocent expression of anticipation on Zack's face. Did he really understand what he was saying? He grasped Zack's face with his large hands, hoping to focus his attention. "Puppy, don't say that! And my name is Angeal!"

"Angel!" Zack parroted.

"No, AN-GEE-ALL," he stressed in exasperation, moving his hands down to still Zack's wriggling form. He had a restraint that was legendary to his men, but around his puppy, that restraint was constantly tested.

"Angel!" Zack crowed, throwing his arms around Angeal's neck and happily burying his face in the crook of his human's neck. Angeal grunted at the enthusiastic hug and ticklish licks and kisses before huffing and lightly running his hands up and down Zack's back. His hands brushed against one of Zack's spots and instead of the usual breathy whines, a loud obscene moan spilled from his puppy's lips.

"Ah, yes! There!" Zack cried, happily kicking his foot and wriggling his bum. "Ngh! Harder!"

Angeal hastily covered his mouth, feeling himself twitch in his pants. What the _fuck _had Genesis been exposing Zack to while he'd been gone? There was no way all of it had come from the television!

Banging started on his door, and Zack perked up; the SOLDIER caught his pet's before he could go sprinting for the door—he knew who was there, and there was no way he was coming back in to corrupt his puppy.

"Angeal! Angeal! That's not fair! Let me in you selfish oaf! First you two don't invite me to your orgy and now this?! You're not playing fair!" Genesis' banging on the door was ignored, and Zack merely looked questioningly up at Angeal before his master shook his head. After a moment, the angry yells disappeared and Angeal snorted at his friend's impulsive tendencies.

"Are you going to make Zack come?" his puppy asked, and Angeal twitched, even as he automatically shifted his arm to scratch at Zack's head to placate his insistent nudging. Oblivious to his various speech no-no's, Zack sighed in bliss under Angeal's affectionate scratching.

"Puppy," he said, trying for calm and nearly failing, "You can't just go around saying things like that. Those are bad words; didn't Genesis teach you any worthwhile words?" He sighed. "And say 'I' or 'me' when referring to yourself."

Zack paused as if thinking before perking up, his tail thwacking against Angeal's leg almost non-stop. "Genesis taught Zack how to beg! Can Zack pretty please have Angeal's cock in him? Promise not to tease!"

Angeal groaned, but before he could open his mouth to correct his exuberant puppy, his PHS rang. A quick glance revealed it to be Sephiroth. "Yes, Seph?"

"Did Genesis come by your place and try to—"

"Molest my dog? Yes. Did he try to 'train' your cat?"

An exasperated sigh from Sephiroth's end was as much confirmation as he needed. "Fuck, I knew Genesis was upset about what happened the other day, but I didn't know he was gonna bother them, Seph."

"Sephiroth!" his puppy suddenly exclaimed, startling the two on the phone, "Cloud's master! Does Zack get to see Cloud today? Angeeeellll, Zack wants to fuck Cloud, please!"

There was a heavy moment of silence as Angeal gaped at his dog and on the other end of the phone, Sephiroth furrowed his brows in bemusement.

"What in the—"

"I-I'll talk to you later, Seph!" Angeal said in rushed mortification. Zack, looking curious and slightly confused, nudged at Angeal as the man buried his face in his hands.

"Is Cloud coming?! Wanna plaaaaay!"

"Zack," Angeal said, stressed beyond belief at the damage Genesis had wrought in such a small amount of time, "No more speaking until you learn the right way to talk, puppy."

"And then Angel will fuck Zack?"

Angeal sighed, already feeling the beginnings of a headache. He was _so_ going to kill Genesis.

* * *

Quiet: ......


	2. Not a Cat Person

Quiet: Petverse AU. Angeal is such a teddy bear. XD

Angeal x Zack x Cloud  
_Angeal's more of a dog person, but a kitty was pretty damn adorable too

* * *

_

When Zack had brought in the wet, bedraggled kitten from goddess knows where, Angeal had very nearly told him to take it right back and to stop digging up trouble. But before he could say anything, Zack had set it down, and the poor thing had weakly opened its eyes and mewled—a light, pitiful cry that had instantly tugged on his heartstrings. And once Zack had given him 'The Eyes', he'd been helpless to stop himself from scooping up the half-drowned thing and giving it a warm bath and food.

From that moment on, the little kitten had been a constant fixture in Angeal's life.

In direct contrast to Zack's loud, adventurous, and over-exuberant behavior, the blond kitten was calm, quiet and timid.

Where his puppy would greet him when he came back from work with enthusiastic grabby hands and excited whines and whimpers, his kitten would disdainfully wait for the pup to settle down after a few belly rubs before crawling over and lovingly winding himself around Angeal's ankles. Sometimes he allowed himself to be gently scratched behind the ears before wandering off to avoid Zack's heavy-handed attempts at initiating playtime, and others, he would swat Zack on the nose for sniffing a little too closely.

Nights were spent waiting patiently for the little kitten to choose his spot before settling next to him, and a jealous Zack would try his best to sprawl over the both of them, only to find himself being hissed and spat at by an irate kitten.

It usually took an extra thirty minutes to rearrange them so that Angeal was curled around his puppy and still not invading Cloud's "space." But when they all woke up in the morning, Cloud was almost certain to have wriggled his way into Zack's arms and been purring away.

Yeah, sometimes it was pain the ass, but Angeal supposed that having a cat was fine, too.


	3. Bathtime

Quiet: Kitty!Cloud is adorable. And Seph is a bit clueless. That is all.

SephirothxKittyCloud  
_It's bath time!! Cloud's hiding under the bed, hoping Sephiroth won't find him.

* * *

_

"C'mon, Cloud," Sephiroth coaxed, his tone low and soft as he stretched his long arm out in an attempt to snag his kitten.

Beneath the bed, narrow blue eyes glared at him in betrayal as Cloud's hunched form lay curled in as tight a ball as possible.

"Nyaaaa," Cloud sullenly mewled, pressing as far away from his master as possible.

"Who's a good kitty?" Sephiroth said, waving one of Cloud's toys at his nose. The blue-eyed stare never wavered from their intense glare, and there was only the faintest of irritated flicks from a blond tail as the fluffy stick was ignored.

Sephirioth sighed again, cursing himself for saying the b word within his kitten's sharp hearing. "Cloud," he said sternly, trying for authority. "Come from under there right now. This is neither dignified nor fitting behavior for the pet of a SOLDIER."

A light cough that sounded suspiciously like a laugh was his only response, and Sephiroth groaned as he retreated from under the bed. Stubborn little cat. It was cute when it wanted to be, but it was a pain in the ass when it was time for a bath or a trip to the vet.

He scowled. Why'd he ever get a cat anyway?

His phone rang, and he rapidly opened it, uncaring of who was on the other end. "Sephiroth."

There was a moment of startled silence at the exasperated tone in his voice before Angeal's half-curious voice emerged. "Well, sounds like someone's having a rough time."

Sephiroth felt his lips twitch. Angeal's way of asking without asking never ceased to amuse him. "It's Cloud, I said the b word around him," he muttered.

"Uhoh," Angeal said before chuckling. "I take it he managed to get under the bed this time."

"Yes," Sephiroth confirmed, giving the bed a wry look.

"Do you remember that bag I gave you a few days ago?"

The General reached over and opened the nightstand where he'd stashed it, curiously eyeing miniature picture of a pleased cat on its front. Directly under, the word "Catnip" was in bold lettering. "Catnip?" he asked, unsure exactly what the stuff was supposed to do.

"Take a pinch out and spread it on your hands; you should let him get a whiff of it, then lure him out with it."

Sephiroth stared at the bag in skepticism. "Are you sure?"

"Trust me, he won't leave you alone until the scent wears off."

"Alright," he said, after following Angeal's instructions, "I'll call you back if it works."

"Somehow, I doubt that," the other man laughingly countered before hanging up.

Round two.

Sephiroth lowered himself back under the bed before carefully extending his hand toward Cloud, whose glowing eyes acted as a beacon for Sephiroth.

"Cloud," he crooned, temptingly wriggling his fingers. He watched his kitten tilt its head and give a few testing sniffs, and held his breath. After a plaintive meow, the silver-haired male made as if to move his hand back, only to find his large hand trapped between two smaller ones.

Smooth skin met his fingers, and he watched in amazement as Cloud nuzzled at his trapped fingers. Carefully, Sephiroth gave a light, testing pull and was pleased when Cloud resisted, only to follow when he pulled his hand from under the bed. Blond spikes appeared from under the bed first, and Sephiroth quickly snatched at Cloud's shoulders to pull him out the rest of the way.

"Now that that's over with, it's time to clean you up."

"Nyaaaa…"

The general paused and stared down in surprise at his kitten, whose voice sounded unusually thick. The blond was limp in his grasp, practically splayed over him as he lazily lifted his head and nipped at Sephrioth's hand.

He frowned as he removed Cloud's clothing, unsure what was causing the odd reaction. Sure he'd only had the cat for a short amount of time, but who knew if it was sick…

His hands easily lifted Cloud's limp, naked form from the ground, and he blinked as his kitten practically wrapped himself around him, a loud, vibrating purr making him shiver in response.

Whatever that catnip stuff was, he would be sure to use it more often in the future.


	4. Outfoxed

Quiet: Figured I should spread these out more evenly till I wrote more. AU of the petverse. Cuz Gen technically isn't supposed to be a kitty. I just like him that way. =3

Tseng/Reno  
_Perhaps asking him to clean up his appearance wasn't a good idea.

* * *

_

"Reno, we're getting ready to go to an important function today, so you need to—Reno, look at me," Tseng demanded in exasperation.

Slanted aqua eyes blinked up at him as a puffy red tail waved in acknowledgement. "Yo."

Tseng pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "Reno," he said slowly, dark eyes narrowed on the kit currently scratching himself with his hind leg. "I need you to be extra good and stay clean today. We have to set a good example for the pet units, or else the plug will be pulled on Rufus' proposal. Don't get Rude into trouble, don't go and bother Angeal's puppy, don't socialize with Lazard's cat, and don't try to mess with Sephiroth's kitten. Is that understood?"

A happy grin was aimed his way and those bright blue-green eyes lit up. "Sure, Bossman! I can do that! What do I get for bein' a good boy, yo?"

Tseng thought about it for a second, knowing that the right incentive good be the difference between tonight's success and a potential disaster. "No cage for two weeks."

Reno's ears flicked in Tseng's direction and his tail waved a bit in interest. "Even if I do something _really_ bad?"

He knew he was gonna regret this, but…

"Yes, even if you do something I usually don't allow you to do," he said carefully. He was negotiating, not committing potential career suicide.

The kit hummed for a bit before blinking up at Tseng. "Make it a month and it's a deal!"

Tseng sighed, before reaching out and affectionately patting Reno between the ears. "Just promise me you'll clean yourself up tonight and behave."

"Sure thing, Bossman!"

Thirty minutes before the event, Tseng was getting worried.

He'd left Reno to his own devices, but after a few hours without a trace of little fox was making him nervous. A quiet Reno usually meant that something bad had happened, or he was off getting into something he wasn't supposed to be.

"Reno," he called, voice calm while his thoughts raced with the endless possibilities. Sure Reno was a special ops pet, but he was still young. He could get in and out of places and no one would ever know, so if he happened to be hanging from a window on the 68th floor…

"Yo!"

Tseng felt relief bloom in chest—until he turned and saw Reno.

"…Reno. What. Are. You. _Wearing_?"

"Heeeey, Bossman! You told me to go get cleaned up! Genesis let me borrow the spiked collar and said it'd be a perfect conta-contra-contradiction to the ribbon on my tail and ears," the fox chattered, unaware of Tseng's growing exasperation.

He should've known that asking Reno to clean himself would be more than the kit could handle.


	5. Fox Tricks

Quiet: I'd just like to say that I love fox!Reno, and I blame Sue Dunham for this. It was her prompt. XD

Fox!Reno/Kitty!Cloud?  
_"once it's inside, you'll LOVE it!"

* * *

_

"C'mon, pussy cat, it's just a little game!"

The blonde kitten nervously shifted under the gaze of the fox, his eyes roaming towards the window, where Zack was furiously clawing at the glass and howling with all his might. The din would've attracted one of their masters if it hadn't been for the fact that the three of them had been left alone for a few hours. Angeal had known that Reno and Zack wouldn't get along from a few previous incidents, but Sephiroth had felt confident that his little kitten could keep the wily fox in line for a bit.

"Well, Zack doesn't seem to be liking this…"

"It's because he doesn't wanna share, yo! But if I get left out, then I'll be upset, and you don't want that, do ya Cloud?" That small smirk turned into a wicked grin. "You've never tried fox before, have you?"

The kitten tilted his head in thought, tail swishing as his brow furrowed in concentration. Well, Reno did have a good point…It wouldn't be very polite to deny a guest, and Sephiroth was very adamant about Cloud being more dignified and learning a few manners.... He glanced at the window again, where the ebony-haired puppy had taken to alternately making soulful eyes at him and glaring daggers at the smirking fox.

A soft, bushy red tail suddenly wrapped itself around his waist, and Cloud nearly jumped to the ceiling when slim arms wound around him and tugged him close. A thin, almost purr-like growl was echoing in Reno's throat as he lightly rubbed cheeks with Cloud, his scent suddenly making Cloud edgy.

"C'mon, kitten…once it's inside, you'll love it!"

"Well…okay," he hesitantly conceded, taking one last guilty glance at the bared teeth of his friend's face mashed in the window before getting on all fours.

Triumphant, the fox mounted his prize and stuck his tongue out at the furious puppy.

"Ah, you're a tight little thing aren't ya?"

"_Nyaa~!_"

When Zack got free, he was going to _murder_ that damn fox.


	6. The Fox and the Cat

Quiet: ...DX

Genesis/Reno  
_Two red-heads and a soft mattress. Something tells him things aren't going to go as planned.

* * *

_

A slant of light preceded the opening of the doorway, and the fox on the bed grunted at the intrusion to his nap as a stealthy form slunk in. Before he could identify the intruder by sight, the door closed again, leaving him a limited window light to work with. His eyes narrowed as he caught the scent of the cat Tseng occasionally brought over. If he thought he was gonna bully him off his bed, then he had another think comin!

"Back off kitty-cat," the fox growled, annoyance making him bristle. "The Bossman put me in here to keep me out of the way and I _ain't_ gettin into trouble with you."

Genesis' slim form leapt onto the bed and his eyes gleamed in the near darkness like beacons. "Oh no, you misunderstand me; Tseng said I needed to find a place to sleep tonight, and this just so happens to be where I picked."

Reno faltered at the words, his indignation fading to confusion. "Oh well, I guess you can sleep here then. Just don't bother me, yo. Gotta mission tomorrow."

"Ah," the cat said, stretching himself across the bed as if it belonged to him. "Lazard is having me taken to Wutai with Angeal and his puppy; I'm supposed to help the little whelp learn a few tricks of the trade."

Reno snorted. "Good luck with that one. He's a hothead that can barely stop chasing his own tail long enough to pay attention."

"Oh? Well, I've heard tell that you've taken to sampling his little kitten," Genesis purred, suddenly rolling to his knees.

Reno warily watched the cat prowl towards him, his body tensing in case he needed to make a quick escape; he'd been a naïve kit at one point that believed Genesis to be 'helpful,' but the only one Genesis was out to help was _himself_. He gave a sharp warning yip when he felt a light touch on his leg.

"So defensive…there's enough bed here for the both of us, you know. I think Tseng would like it if we got along. It'd save him the trouble of keeping you hidden from me, my feisty little kit," the cat purred, leaning over to rub his face across Reno's hair and ears.

"Two redheads and a nice, soft mattress…there's no shame in playing for a bit, is there?"

It would take a stronger animal than Reno to resist such an invitation.


	7. Obedience Training

Puppy!ZackxAngealxSephirothxGenesis  
_"WTF Angeal, that pup will really hump anything!!"_

_Dingdong._

"Oh shit—Zack! Stop! _Heel_ boy!"

"Bark! Bark!"

"Gods, Geal!" Genesis' irritated voice rang out from the door as he attempted to dislodge the annoyance latched onto his leg and furiously humping away. He shook his captured limb in vain as the slack-faced puppy held it in a firm grip and panted in time with his thrusts. "Can't you keep your mutt under control? I _told_ you getting a pet was a bad idea!"

Sephiroth was attempting to muffle his laughter as the clumsy puppy blissfully made love to Genesis's leg, his blue eyes bright and happy as his tongue lolled out.

Angeal grimaced at the sight before hurrying over to scold Zack, who growled at the interruption. A stern glare and a sharp tug from Angeal, and the puppy whimpered at being thwarted before scurrying off to go sulk.

"Sorry about that," Angeal said, resisting the urge to die of embarrassment. He was new to this whole pet ownership thing, but he'd been told that young puppies like Zack needed positive reinforcement and a firm hand in order to properly obey commands and still be well-socialized individuals.

Zack just happened to be a little _too_ well-socialized.

"I swear to Minerva," Gen growled, watching from the doorway as Zack gave his favorite stuffed chocobo the same treatment as the redhead's leg, "that puppy will hump anything!"


	8. Boredom

Quiet: This of course, is AU, so don't be too concerned with it not being the same as what's in the comics. I haven't been very active lately, have I? DX

Genesis/Tseng  
_Was it too much to ask that he stay out of his office when Loveless gets a little too boring?

* * *

_

"Mreow."

Tseng ignored the sound, trying his hardest to focus on the paperwork that had been cluttering his desk for weeks. It was bad enough that he'd had to put Reno into his pen for misbehaving, but now he had to babysit Lazard's bitchy cat and still get all his work done.

"I said, '_Meow_'!" A hand slapped down on top of his pen and paperwork, and Tseng looked up to find himself nearly nose-to-nose with the current bane of his existence.

"Yes, Genesis? Is there something you need?"

An auburn-furred ear swiveled in his direction and the baleful stare in his direction was redirected to the open doorway.

Genesis' favorite book was lying on the ground, face down. "I'm bored with reading Loveless. Play with me."

Tseng sighed. "I don't have time—"

He was suddenly filled with a lapful of cat, and he blinked when he felt the deep, rumbling purrs in the naked chest by his face.

"_Lazard_ plays with me," Genesis stressed, winding his arms around Tseng's neck to nip at his ears. He leaned back and narrowed his eyes. "You're not going to _neglect_ me, are you? My master won't be happy to hear about that," the cat said with a dainty yawn. "Don't you want to play with the pretty kitty?"

Tseng couldn't deny that the idea held some appeal; Genesis' squirming had already proved his eagerness to comply with the idea.

"Fine…but only for a little while."

"Good boy," Genesis purred.

* * *

Quiet: :x


	9. Friendly

Characters: Zack, Rude, Reno

Summary: Zack, meet Rude. :3

* * *

"Hey!"

Rude ignored the call, his attention focused solely on the bright blue ball he was currently trying his best to chew to bits.

"Heeeeey," the voice whined again. "Didn't you hear me?"

The bald dog rolled one eye upward to look at the curious puppy practically wriggling in place. Hmph. Just another untrained pup. Rude grunted and turned his body so that the message was clear: not interested.

"Oh, you must be one of those Turk dogs," the puppy said, as if that were the reason for Rude's silence. "Y'know, you don't haveta be quiet when you're not on a mission!"

No response. Zack furrowed his brows, head tilting in confusion. What kinda dog was this anyway? He was just sitting there like a big lump and acting like he wasn't there. Maybe he was blind? He did have sunglasses on…

"Hey, are you blind? Is that why you have those silly looking things on?" The spiky-haired puppy edged closer and waved his hand in front of the bigger dog's face. The sudden snarl made him yelp and tumble backwards. He blinked in bemusement before warily eyeing the other dog.

Definitely not blind.

"Eheheh…soooo…nice ball you got there! Wanna play fetch?"

A low growl started from the suited dog, and Zack nearly gaped. Wow, this guy was really unfriendly! What kind of dog was this, a pit bull?

"Doberman," the other dog barked out, making Zack flatten his ears in embarrassment. He really had to learn how to keep his mouth shut. "Get lost, mutt."

"Heeey, that's not nice!" Zack pouted. Jeez, what a jerk! Angeal had told him to show some manners, but this guy was _pushing_ it!

A red blur flashed by the corner of his eye and he watched in horror as Reno full-body pounced the Doberman. Much as he hated the cocky fox, he didn't deserve to _die_ for being a little playful. Hell, at least _he_ actually played with Zack every now and then.

"Found ya, Rude!" the kit cried, making playful bites at small ears and obnoxiously rubbing at a bald head.

Unfairly, the Doberman merely gave his attacker a gentle swat with his beefy hand. Quick as a shot, Reno danced away from the lazy brush-off to settle down a few feet away and grin. His eyes strayed to Zack, who was watching his antics with a disbelieving gape. He snickered.

"Oooh, I see you've met the SOLDIER pup, yo! Hope you weren't too hard on him," the redhead teased, tail waving happily as he draped himself over the silent dog's lap and swatted at the ball in his mouth.

Rude grunted and raised his head, easily avoiding the grabby movements. It looked so…normal, like a routine he'd done plenty of times.

Grumbling good-naturedly—a far cry from the borderline hostility he'd given Zack—the larger dog tumbled the kit from his lap and dodged a playful nose-nip before rising onto his feet and heading towards the Administration section of the ShinRa building.

"What a _grouch_," Zack whined, flopping down on his back once he was certain the other dog was out of earshot. A second later, a soft _woof_ was forced out of him as he found himself with a lapful of mischievous fox.

"Don't be jealous," Reno teased; then a decisively sly look crossed his angular face. "Remember, there's always Cloud to go play with!"

Reno had a damn good point.


End file.
